Do you ever wonder, “Who am I”?
I am a daughter, sister, mother, partner, wife, student, or employee…but who am I beyond these roles? Does it ever feel like you are doing a million things at once but none of them well? Are you exhausted by an incessant inner dialogue of not being good enough? Do you find yourself feeling guilty for thinking about your own wants? Do you feel ashamed of not enjoying motherhood or pregnancy? Are you tired of having to make sacrifices for the greater good of your family? Do you feel stagnant in your career, school, or relationships, but terrified by change?
Women are expected to sacrifice
Women in today’s world are expected to be many things to many people, and it is often all too easy to lose sight of your own wants and needs. Women receive messages from the media and loved ones that they must sacrifice themselves for the sake of everyone else. Over time that routine comes at a price and you can begin to feel overwhelmed, empty, or “not good enough.” This can leave you feeling sad, anxious, irritable, angry, or disconnected.
But how can you live a fulfilling and meaningful life, true to yourself, if you are not allowed self-care?
Women are faced with multiple decisions across their lifespan. Choose a career path, make sure to pick the “correct” major, decide if and when to get married, navigate dating, find a partner, and ponder whether or not to pursue motherhood. During this journey some women battle infertility while others struggle to decide whether to stay at home or return to work. Many end up being a caregiver to sick parents or family members. When these “normative” transitions do not go according to plan, it can be devastating.
The pain of infertility, divorce, academic failure, or workplace struggles can feel overwhelming. Our culture does not properly equip women on how to navigate failures or to take a path that is different from what others consider to be “acceptable”. Then, women’s choices are rarely celebrated unless they align with traditional expectations.
How can you hear your own voice, if you feel everyone else’s voice is louder and more important?
From the time women are born, they are socialized with messages about their bodies, sexuality, careers, and partnering. Women’s very worth in life is often measured and defined by standards that are incongruent their authentic selves do not even ascribe to. How can you find your way to your own wants and needs? When you are disconnected from your authentic self it impacts every part of your life – relationships, careers, and schooling.
At some point in life, everyone has moments of feeling “stuck, lost, petrified, ashamed, weak, and afraid.” While many times there are no simple answers, the truth is help is here. We can walk with you in your journey and assist with repairing the hurt and pain.
There is help
Therapists who understand a woman’s unique perspective and the multitude of stressors that occur in her lifespan can help you not only navigate these transitions, but to approach them in a way that heals and empowers you.
By creating a space that gives you permission to connect with your own needs and mourn the pain of previous losses you can begin to heal. This is an intricate process. When your secret wants, hopes, and inner dialogue of shame and self-criticism are given space to breathe, your authentic self can emerge.